IS SKIPPER REGER THE NEXT NOSTRADUAMUS???

It appears that that the famed B Team member Bill the Skipper Reger, has the same uncanny gift to prophecy the future as did Nostraduamas in the 13th century. The Skipper foretold to the peleton in January 2008 of the leadership change in the BITM 2008 when he correctly tab the mere mortal John Kramer to take over the top spot. Many agreed with his assement that the time had arrived for new leadership, but to single out Kramer as the leader was frankly, “Thoughts of an old man babbling.” However, when the dust settled over the mountains on Sunday night, the unthinkable had occurred, Kramer stood on the top spot in GC for the BITM 2008 edition. The question now presents, is the Skipper really, William Reger-Nash-Nostraduamus?

To further support this Nostraduamus like comparison, the Skipper also predicted that:

• The Little man from Marshall County would be dethroned from his undisputed position as King of Flatulent
• Martin “The Leaning Furance” Morrison would cook road kill in a Toyota product
• Dr Mike Blatt would try to poison the entire peleton with a petroleum product
• Chainless Joe Donzella would cramp (frankly, this does not really support the Nostraduamus like comparison, since EVERYONE predicted this one)

William Reger-Nash-Nostraduamus…myth or legend??

The Sherriff commentates on BITM 2008

The Photos

• The Williams River Climb - 7K of climbing
• The A team will not catch me!!!
• I knew I shouldn't have ate all that food last night
• Can you go get that 20lb package that I left at the bottom of the climb?
• The Bull Monahan rejects the helmet rule - this is the mountains - there are no rules
• Can you take this? Chad "Junior" Hill said it clashed with my outfit.
• The Canadian making a fashion statement
• "Well yeah I know I got dropped but the wattage was too high on the Ranger Station Climb" - The Bullit
• A Team catches remnants of B team - focuses next on leader Lambie
• Mito is pleased with his new farmer tan
• Abdu thoughts on Chainless - "He had a bad day in the saddle but his ass is looking spectular"
• Chainless exclaiming "Now I know why I cramped...my quick release was too tight"

The Video

• Biega & Lambie getting caught & dropped
• The 3 Leaders - Go Scott!!!
• McCluskey & Lambie trying to get back on...
• Kramer calls the finish line
• The Rooster is resurrected as Mito - the powerhouse of the cell
• Chad "Junior" Hill gives the low down on the race

"Chainless Joe" relaxed, confident, determined, speaks on BTIM.

Joe, Chainless, Donzella the odds on favorite granted an exclusive interview during a hectic last few days before traveling to the WV mountains of Snowshoe for what my be his last chance to ever get a podium spot. Does he have the massive quads and Armstrong like VO max to overcome what has been his enemy in past BTIM's--CRAMPS?

Joe what has been the secret this year for your chiseled physique and confidence going into what many call the hell of the east, the tour at snowshoe?
Well I just suppose its my training program that includes intervals on the tandem by myself pulling Lorenzo. also my strict diet, massive training load, and its just my time.

What about your diet, you look so fit? age doesn't play a factor in your all or nothing attitude does it?
I eat a very balance diet, drink plenty of fluids, including a glass or two of fine vino, plus I pick a few scraps from my son's plate from time to time. I don't feel my age is a factor, look at all the classic riders. they are older and more experienced. I have suffered at BTIM in the past, but this year the suffering go to the chasers looking at my backside on the Williams river climb.

Joe, do you have a plan on when you will attack the group and who do you think can go with you?
Well of course I will go sometime, I don't plan on offering my wheel to anyone this year. I think Chad can climb with me Abdu can also stay with me. but in the end only Cusack and his henchman Brad will have a chance for a podium spot along side my giant quads. I'm deeply sorry the Rooster got clucked, he was quite a competitor, He will be missed, especially his yelling for the "Bullit" on the Ranger Station Climb. El-Toro and The Little Man from Marshal Country may offer some slight resistance early but both are well past prime.

Do you feel the pressure of being the favorite since the Sheriff picked you as THE ONE to beat? and is it true you may cut back on your schedule the office to race professionally this year? \
Actually I feel no pressure, with the Sheriff blessing and his non presence my name will go along side many of the greats in former BTIM's. I will not confirm that I have had offers, but my wife and child will come first this year. I may do a few regional races to pick up some pocket change but my practice comes first, at least for now. Now get the f--k away from me I have to rest up!!!!!!!!

ROOSTER SUCCOMBS DURING FLORIDA TRAINING RIDE

The long and celebrated career of John “The Rooster” Kramer, came to a tragic end two weeks ago on the deserted back roads of Central Florida. As many know, The Rooster has struggled with fitness and heart during the late winter and early spring. Bird flu weakened the former strongman and even after massive amounts of drugs, vitamins, and Chinese herbs nothing seemed to help.

While vacationing in Florida, The Rooster was desperately trying to find some legs, but it would not be. On a group ride with some overweight old dudes The Rooster struggled to stay on the back of the pack. It was then that Ollie with his ice tea drink strapped between his areo bars, dialed up the tempo. The speed increase as the Rooster’s legs decreased and Bammm, the Rooster was done. Not just done for the day, but done…gone…finished….dead….buried….f---in killed on the side of the road. It was over.

As one passerby said, “you could not even get a decent cup of chicken soup out of what was left….”

John Kramer, without his alter ego, will be left to ride with only himself. Time will not be kind to this mere human.

The cycling world is in utter disarray with first the loss of the Sheriff and now the Rooster. With no clear leader, the BITM weekend will be interesting to say the least. Does Chainless Joe Donzella have the balls to go for the 4 hour mark? Can Abdu Wright get up to the ranger station with his legs and in his head? El Torro is showing good fitness with a “slimmer” silhouette, but will 15 pounds be enough or was 20 the magic number. The Little man has not been seen all winter and spring, but as the weather turns south, his chances turn up. The Bullit will be steady and running on a high hematocrit. Will it be enough? Chad “The Boy” Hill has youth on his side, but with his weak heart unless he carries an AED, his chances of the podium spot are just that…spotty. Johnny Cusack has put in mega miles in the last two weeks in order to find his legs, but has he left them in Graysville? Brad “The Gasman” Hand seems to be on form and will be a darkhorse. Jim Biega is well, just too fat…NF.

The mountains are calling……who will answer

TNC Member Gets His GED!

The only training that TNC member Doug Merriman has been getting lately is for his newly acquired GED, Groundhog Elimination Device. “The training has been extensive but I am happy to have accomplished it” Merriman said. He stated that the past year was a setback for all bikers on the Wheeling Bike Trail. “We had to take back our ground” he said after the winter’s ceasefire. “It was not enough to simply implement this new technology, I wanted to take it to the Next Level”, he was referring to the ingenious new stretcher pod that was designed to carry wounded Colnago Riders! He quickly gained the support of other TNC riders in his efforts. Dr Michael Blatt offered advanced pulmonary support while Dr. Joseph Donzella offered Acute Medical Care. John Cusack will salvage and keep bicycle parts while Dr. John Kramer offered to ride along spraying down the wounds with acetone????? What a Guy!!!!

WAGONS TO BE CIRCLED:REMEMBER THE ALAMO

Gather the women and children, the natives want blood. Huddle and hide from the inevitable or stand and fight. Take the risk and go for it, Death will be quick. My spirit lives on, I'm as good as I ever once was. Give in and accept. training + teamwork=success. The Zulu's have us surrounded, how shall we respond - its up to you......

I will lead the charge up the hill, anybody willing to follow?

The Sheriff-- accepting, loving, humbled, thankful and worn, but my spirit is there. Good luck boys in the mountains 2008

THE ROOSTER TO LIVE AND RIDE AGAIN

Chainless "the truth" Donzella, renowned physician, bike rider and confidante has seemingly saved the rooster from his death bed. Reports that workmen at the Mount Calvary Cemetery were preparing his box had the cycling world in a state of disbelief. "When I heard the news today I was shocked! I knew I had to do something to help my mentor and friend ". I quickly consulted with my colleagues out west, at the famed and locked down "Area 51". After much deliberation, we found the source of the "so called Avian flu" to be no more then a common strain of Ox-mule influenza. It appears the rooster had contracted it while doing solo training rides this winter on wet "horse $hit" laden roads. Most likely near West Alexander or Claysville PA.

I quickly mixed up a combination of Tamiflu and Vancomycin and infused it intravenously into the Rooster. He was last seen wondering around looking for a "spigot "? It does appear, however that he will be ready for BITM in 4 weeks time. "His recovery will be usual. If he takes his Tylenol on schedule, in two days he can ride the trainer. By the weeks end he should be feeling well enough to ride outside again", Chainless stated.

As for his mental state, I can not comment. My prayers and thoughts are with him and his family in his time of need.........
Joseph G. Donzella DO

COVETED SNOWSHOE CUP UP FOR GRABS

TIFFANY'S JEWELERS HAVE PRODUCED A CUSTOM AWARD TO BE GIVEN TO THE FIRST FINISHER IN THE BITM CLASSIC. THIS ATTRACTIVE PIECE IS SOLID GOLD WITH A MARBLE BASE. IT WAS DESIGNED TO DRINK FROM, EAT CEREAL FROM OR USE FOR A URNIAL IF NEEDED, A VERY VERSITILE AWARD INDEED. THE SHERIFF MIKE HUDIMAC HELPED DESIGN THIS CUP AND WILL TURN IT OVER TO WINNING RIDER IN THIS YEARS TOUR. NOTICE THE CARBON FIBER TOWER HOLDING A RIDER IN FULL ZOOT. IT TOOK OVER A MONTH FOR DOUG AT TOUCHSTONE TO DESIGN IT. THE CUP, NOT QUITE FINISHED, WILL BE ENGRAVED WITH ALL PAST AND FUTURE WINNERS. SORCES CLOSE TO THE SHERIFF HAD SUGGESTED THE CUP BE NAMED THE "STUCKO CUP" FOR THE FAMED RIDER WHO GOT LOST IN A SNOWSTORM AND ENDED UP IN THE CREEK. HE WAS LATER RESCUED BUT WAS NEVER THE SAME RIDER. HUMBLE AS EVER STUCKO WILL BE UNABLE TO ATTEND, BUT WILL OFFER VIDEO CONGRATULATIONS. THE CUP WILL BE STORED EACH WINTER ALONG SIDE THE STANLEY AND SUPER BOWL TROPHY. A SIMILAR MODEL MADE OUT OF TIN AND PLASTIC WILL BE GIVE TO FIRST B TEAM RIDER ACROSS THE LINE.

“Rumors confirmed…Rooster has Avian Influenza”

AT A PRESS CONFERENCE TODAY AT TEAM NAIL CITY’S HEADQUARTERS, ROOSTER KRAMER CONFIRMED WHAT MANY HAVE SUSPECTED ALL SEASON, THAT HE HAS CONTRACTED THE BIRD FLU VIRUS. DURING THE PRESS CONFERENCE, ROOSTER SAID THAT HE HAS STRUGGLE PHYSICALLY SINCE EARLY WINTER AND THINGS ONLY SEEM TO BE ONLY GETTING WORSE. AT LAST NIGHTS Wednesday RIDE, THE FIRST OF THE SEASON, ROOSTER CAME UNHITCHED EARLY AND OFTEN. THE FINAL STRAW WAS WHEN STEPHAN “THE SKELETOR”, DROPPED HIM LIKE A BAD HABIT ON THE CLIMB UP TO DEMENT ROAD. THE ROOSTER LIMPED HOME ALONE, WELL OUT OF THE TIME LIMIT, AND WAS LISTED AS DNF.

AT THE EMOTIONAL CONFERENCE, IN WHICH THE ROOSTER SHOWED THE TEARS OF HIS PERSONAL AGONY ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS, HE STATED THAT THE BITM WEEKEND WAS NOT TO BE THIS YEAR AND THAT HIS FUTURE IN CYCLING WAS DOUBTFUL. hE THANKED HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE FOR HER YEARS OF SUPPORT AS WELL OF THE MANY STRONG MAN THAT HE HAS RIDDEN FOR OR WHO HAVE LENT HIM A KIND WHEEL THROUGH HIS CAREER. MOST NOTABLLY MENTIONED WHERE THE MIKE “THE sHERIFF” HUDIMAC AND KIM “BULLET” BUTLER WHO WERE SINGLED OUT FOR THERE YEARS ON PAIN SHARING ON THE ROADS. ROOSTER AFFECTIONATELY MENTIONED TEAM RED CANNONDALE, TEAM 23, TEAM MOUNTAIN QUADS AND OF COURSE, THE LITTLE MAN FROM MARSHALL COUNTY.

ROOSTER IS NOT SURE HOW HE CONTRACTED THE DEADLY VIRUS, BUT ASSURED THE CROWD IT WAS NOT FROM THE HOME ON STEENROD AVE THAT THE BULLET OCCUPIES. HE DID CONFIRM THAT THERE WERE A FEW BARNYARD ANIMALS AT THE BULLETS HOUSE, BUT STATED tHAT BULLET ASSURED HIM THEY WERE “JUST FRIENDS”.

THE ROOSTER KNOWS OF NO CURE AND WANTED TO SPEND HIS REMAINING DAYS AT HOME WITH WIFE AND CHILD.

Hill to Compete in “A” Team Race

The Journal of Competitive Cycling

Mountains at Snowshoe 2008:
Hill to Compete in “A” Team Race
Posted: March 26, 2008


I had the privilege of speaking with Team Nail City’s youngest team member, Christopher Chad Hill today, when he officially announced that he will be competing in the “A” team race in Mountains at Snowshoe. From a disappointing DNF in 2004 to a two year abscond for college, and then his first finish in 2007, he is now being considered a top contender for 2008.

VN: What is your opinion of the course this year Chad?
CCH: Well, the course this year has not changed from the previous years, it’s still technical, challenging, and with a lot of climbing. I’m hoping for some sunny, warm weather, and clean roads – as I think everyone else is [laughing]. But, all in all, I anticipate a great race this year.

VN: Have you been training for the race this year?
CCH: I have been. I’m on a different training schedule this year that integrates weight training and aerobic exercise – it’s difficult. I’ve been eating healthier, and staying the same weight as previous years – I’m leaner I guess you can say. I’m also focusing on training that will be getting me away from my typical “bottle rocket self” as once described by “The Bullet” Butler, and helping me better my sprint and stamina.

VN: Are you still a climbing machine [laughs]?
CCH: [laughing] We’ll see…

VN: How are you feeling physically?
CCH: I’m feeling stronger and healthier as each day passes by Phil.

VN: What is your opinion about the competition this year?
CCH: I think the competition has been very quiet about their training…either that they haven’t been [training], or that they are, and it’s not sufficient enough. Some of these shady training techniques are quite questionable in my opinion, but on the other hand, I believe there are still some righteous riders out there – ones that are willing to lend a helping hand to riders in need of advise, wisdom, and support.

VN: Who is your leading competition in this upcoming race?
CCH: [laughing] That I can’t say…it’s too early right now to make any assumptions just yet. I’ll have to wait to see how a few Wednesday Night World races turn out. You know: who’s climbing well, sprinting well, and so on. If I can recall, a few riders can prove themselves worthy early in the season at the Mountains. Such riders we could count on are “Chainless” Donzella, “Abdu” Wright, “Not the Actor” Cusack, the “Little Man from Marshall County” Lambie, and the “Bullet” Butler; although a few other riders may come out of the wood works and finish in the top 5 this year. The “Rooster” Kramer, a possible contender, might have been barred from racing this year for his alleged anal suppositories in 2004, I’m not sure...you’ll have to check into that sometime. Cusack has a new girlfriend this year, and most likely his training has gone into a downward spiral due to less time on the saddle and more time on another “saddle.” Butler…he may be spending more time in the sack and sleeping in than on the bike with some much needed early season training. The “Sheriff” Hudimac who had his vise-like grip early in on the race last year and drew his iron curtain across the road prior to the Ranger Station climb, may be someone to still recon with this year, and I wouldn’t allow any surgery sway your thoughts further. I’ve also heard rumors about a baby ring being put on Donzella’s Trek, although adding a few extra grams to his feather light carbon fiber machine; he has told me that it will give him an extra edge while climbing with his added winter hibernation “weight” put on from Amy’s handcrafted Italian Spaghetti and Meatballs.

VN: How do you feel about the previous doping allegations in the peleton?
CCH: As I have always said, good ‘ol fashion hard work pays off in the end. I just can’t believe that this hometown peleton has been tainted by the nasty grasp of these “performance enhancers.” From anal suppositories to EPO, it’s just amazing what desperate riders will turn to for an extra boost in performance. I think when the race rolls around; these “dopers” will be weeded out when their stashes run out. The doctors [coughs] – not too mention any names – that are providing “performance enhancers” to these riders will come to a halt, and will undoubtedly be caught, fined, and banned by the UCI. I think that random blood testing and colonoscopies (50 years and older, of course) of competing riders may be a necessary step to restore the integrity of the race this year and for many coming years.

VN: I think we only have time for one more question before you head out for your training ride, so with that, do you think you have the stamina and mentality to win this year
CCH: I hope so.

Selling new bike

2007 Lemond Buenos Aires for $1500 with Pedals.  Ridden less than 100 miles.

SHERIFF CONCEDES BITM. SAD DAY IN WHEELING.

IN A SHOCKING ANNOUNCEMENT TIMED ADMIST ALL THE POLITICAL DROPOUTS THE SHERRIFF SAYS HE CANNOT WIN THIS YEARS BITM AND WILL RIDE B TEAM.

Mike Hudimac (aka: The Sheriff) said today what rumors all month have indicated he will not, can not and if nominated is "unable" to accept the front runners position in this years 2008 Boys in the mountains tour.

He has not talked much to the media since last fall when he was stricken will some undisclosed medical problems but today looked drawn, weak and was described as a skeleton, (no relation to "skeletor"). "I have fully recovered from my wounds" The sheriff said, "It will take months of rehab but I can take the B group with no problems".

With only 90 days until this years classic that is a bold statement just considering the competition over the last few years in the B group. Classic riders like "The Skipper" Reger, Blatt, Morrison, Lawrence, Stucko, Pettit, just to name a few,will have the Sheriff to deal with this year and expectations are that it will be a very competitive Tour. Rumors that "Bullit" Kim Butler joining this group will make the B ride something to see and experience.

As for the A group, most think "Chainless" Joe Donzella, just back from a week of hard training in the Mexican Rivera Mia, will finally take his first title. "He has been training like a madman and wants this badly", The Sheriff said. "Joe has the form, and with some luck can win". "The Rooster will have something to say about that soon, I'm sure. The sheriff said with a smile. "Other than that I don't see much happening this year in the A group". "Wright is like the brothers, Wilber and Orville, up and down. Cusack was a disaster last year and could be soon released from his Nail City Contract I'm told. The "little Man from Marshall County could pull off an upset, especially if the weather is severe. Other than that I think this year A tour will be like watching old reruns of Lassie". The sheriff then cut the interview short, he had PT and lunch of Ensure and Pudding awaiting him.

The Boy

The Man

Black Friday

The Moon was full as I pulled into the event parking lot at nearly 5 am. I felt prepared, my training was good, I was ready. Standing in the cold morning air, I was nervous, looking around at the competition, most had their game faces on, ready for the beginning of what was going to be a brutal start to a long day. I had done my homework, knew what I wanted and felt confident that I could achieve my task of getting to the front no matter what. I had to succeed at any cost. My body was starting to shiver when all of a sudden we were off and racing. I moved well through the mass of humanity. My competitors were pushing and shoving to get to the front first, but somehow there I was-- inside the draft and moving along well toward my goal. Bumping and shoving was rampant, I had no teammates, no help at the front, I was use to this, I felt in my element. Suddenly there I was, I had it, grabbing the first prime of the day, I wanted more. Off the front I went, looking back, there were many chasing me down, I had to dig deep to try and drop them. They were looking for what I wanted, when suddenly I took a wrong turn and found myself off the back and chasing, Never have I wanted something so bad. I had to accelerate to catch up, and soon there I was--- back on. Suddenly a crash, I moved left and avoided it and grabbed another prime, by then the pack was on me and I settled in--- thinking that I had enough and could rest. Picking up a few more prizes made me proud of my effort and soon the finishing line approached. I can not sprint any more, my legs are dead, I have nothing left and with that, it is over for me. As I cooled down over a starbucks, I felt satisfied with my effort, I could of done more, trained harder, been more prepared. Next Year, I mumbled to myself as I walked toward my vehicle in the sea of cars at Target, Next Black Friday I will do better.