ROOSTER SUCCOMBS DURING FLORIDA TRAINING RIDE

The long and celebrated career of John “The Rooster” Kramer, came to a tragic end two weeks ago on the deserted back roads of Central Florida. As many know, The Rooster has struggled with fitness and heart during the late winter and early spring. Bird flu weakened the former strongman and even after massive amounts of drugs, vitamins, and Chinese herbs nothing seemed to help.

While vacationing in Florida, The Rooster was desperately trying to find some legs, but it would not be. On a group ride with some overweight old dudes The Rooster struggled to stay on the back of the pack. It was then that Ollie with his ice tea drink strapped between his areo bars, dialed up the tempo. The speed increase as the Rooster’s legs decreased and Bammm, the Rooster was done. Not just done for the day, but done…gone…finished….dead….buried….f---in killed on the side of the road. It was over.

As one passerby said, “you could not even get a decent cup of chicken soup out of what was left….”

John Kramer, without his alter ego, will be left to ride with only himself. Time will not be kind to this mere human.

The cycling world is in utter disarray with first the loss of the Sheriff and now the Rooster. With no clear leader, the BITM weekend will be interesting to say the least. Does Chainless Joe Donzella have the balls to go for the 4 hour mark? Can Abdu Wright get up to the ranger station with his legs and in his head? El Torro is showing good fitness with a “slimmer” silhouette, but will 15 pounds be enough or was 20 the magic number. The Little man has not been seen all winter and spring, but as the weather turns south, his chances turn up. The Bullit will be steady and running on a high hematocrit. Will it be enough? Chad “The Boy” Hill has youth on his side, but with his weak heart unless he carries an AED, his chances of the podium spot are just that…spotty. Johnny Cusack has put in mega miles in the last two weeks in order to find his legs, but has he left them in Graysville? Brad “The Gasman” Hand seems to be on form and will be a darkhorse. Jim Biega is well, just too fat…NF.

The mountains are calling……who will answer